The answer to the question

You'd think we would have an answer by now, wouldn't you?

We've been asked the question enough. But I swear, each time it's asked, we give a different answer. And each time we think we know the answer, things change, sometimes in tiny, little ways and sometimes in huge, paradigm-shifting ways, requiring us, in any case, to adjust the answer accordingly.

As it stands right now, the answer may be gleaned from the following:

My job ends soon. Maybe in two weeks, maybe in three, maybe a little longer. The exact date is up in the air at the moment, but the fact remains: my job ends soon.

J-P's employment situation in Nashville has not changed appreciably in the last few months. Still nothing permanent. Nothing that could allow us to stay here. (Yes, East Coasters, I said "allow." We actually like it here and have considered staying. Maybe not forever, but at least for a little longer.)

So, we are packing up the house and leaving Nashville. Exactly when depends on my job (see above), but the fact remains: we are leaving Nashville.

J-P is applying for international development jobs abroad, mostly with the UN and the Peace Corps. Working abroad would be a coup for him, and an adventure for both of us.

I don't know exactly what I'd do if/when we move abroad. Maybe get a job with an NGO, if they would have me. Maybe have a baby. Maybe both. We don't know yet.

This is all in the very early stages, and this plan is nothing if not tentative. J-P has applied for jobs and mined his contacts, but big bureaucracies move slowly. It could be months before we know anything more.

By the same token, it might be months, but it won't be years. Neither of us want to set up house somewhere and start new jobs just to have our life turned on its ear if he gets a position abroad.

So, we're going to travel to bide our time. By car, around the U.S. Maybe for a few weeks, maybe for a few months. We have a rough idea of some places and people we'd like to see, but our ultimate route will likely be determined by weather, holidays, and our own whims.

We will do some camping, some touring, some visiting. We hope to rely on the generosity of friends and family for lodging as much as possible, so don't be surprised if you get an email from us one of these days.

It's all very exciting, yes, but also mildly terrifying. We have no idea if this will work, or if, months from now, we'll be just as jobless, but also broke and suddenly scrounging for work anywhere we can find it. On the other hand, maybe we'll end up somewhere fabulous and ready to throw open our doors to anyone who's interested in a little international travel. Who knows.

So that's the answer. At least for now. We'll keep you posted.

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Or maybe weddings just make me sentimental

We went to a wedding this past weekend. It was a beautiful wedding. Of course, all weddings are beautiful and special because they are such hopeful, optimistic undertakings and because they always seem to reflect something unique about the two particular people at their center.

This one was perhaps especially beautiful, in part because it centered on two exceptional individuals who are also an exceptionally perfect match for each other, a theme that weaved its way through the entire weekend's proceedings. As I whispered to J-P during the ceremony, one never doubts that this is a couple who will be able to retain the fierce love and devotion to each other that was on exhibit last weekend, no matter how many years may pass.

But it was more than just that. As the first song played and I danced with J-P, I looked around, and saw our friends all blissfully lost in their own little worlds, each paired in exquisite balance with his or her partner: N&S, M&B, aR&B, E&C.

When people talk at weddings about the role that a couple's community plays in supporting them in their marriage, it often seems like so much lipservice. But in that moment dancing this weekend, our strength, individually, as couples, and as a community was palpable. Which is not to say that none of us have our problems, because I am most certain that we do. And it is also not to say that one cannot be supportive of a marriage without being married oneself, because one certainly can. But there is something important about the shared experience of making the commitment to make it work and then actually doing the work necessary to live out that commitment. And there is something special in looking around and knowing that, for whatever challenges any of us may face, we have friends like these to support us, to rely on, and to serve as models worthy of emulation.

I'm both thankful to have that community around me, and honored to contribute to it.

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