Thoughts on moving day

On behalf of my husband, I'd like to send out a big Fuck You Very Much to Clay Bennett, Howard Schultz, David Stern, and all the little people who helped wrest the Seattle Supersonics out of the hands of the town that has loyally supported their beloved basketball team for four decades. Way to go guys. Way to go.

But I don't mean to sound flip -- as J-P has pointed out, it's difficult to capture the genuine dismay that he feels at Seattle's loss of this team, not to mention the bad aftertaste remaining because of the way in which the move happened. Here's the Cliff's Notes version, if you haven't been following along at home:

The Sonics' former owner, Howard Schultz, aka Mr. Starbucks, sold the Sonics and its WNBA counterpart, the Storm, to a group of Oklahoma City-based investors led by Clay Bennett, despite the fact that there were indications that the Bennett group hoped to move the team to OKC. Then, surprise, surprise, the Bennett group made some crazy-ass demand for a new, publicly-financed arena in Seattle, and threatened to move the team to OKC if Seattle didn't deliver. Seattle refused to be blackmailed, and offered to refurbish the Key Arena instead. The Bennett group turned down that offer (and really, I think the whole demand for a new arena was just a pretense to give them cover for the move to OKC that they already had planned), and they will now be playing in...(wait for it)...a refurbished arena in OKC. Meanwhile, NBA commissioner David Stern had the opportunity to prevent Bennett from moving the team (a team that was, mind you, Seattle's first major championship team and that was located in a town with a deep and abiding love for basketball, as well as deep and abiding pocketbooks). But because Stern is buddy-buddy with Bennett, he let Bennett do as he wished, breaking the hearts of millions of Sonics fans in the process.

As if all of this weren't bad enough, perhaps the most offensive part of the story involves the treatment of the Storm. It seems that the Bennett group took the Storm simply because they were part of the Seattle basketball package. However, several members of the Bennett group are conservatives who have vigorously supported anti-gay-marriage initiatives in Oklahoma, and one member of the Bennett group has been quoted as saying that they didn't want to bring "those types of women" to Oklahoma. Because, apparently, there are no lesbians in Oklahoma, and god knows they wouldn't want to mar that unblemished track record of 100% heterosexuality by bringing those dykey women basketball players to town. What's more, the bigotry of the new ownership certainly wouldn't sit well with the lesbian community that makes up a significant portion of the WNBA fan base, and it didn't sit well with Storm stars Sue Bird and Lauren Jackson, who refused to sign contract extensions so they wouldn't have to play for these jerks.

But there's an up side to the bigotry of the Bennett group. Because of their irrational fear and hatred of "those types of women," a group of Seattle women were able to pool their money to buy the Storm back and keep them in Seattle.

J-P and I are both cheered by the fact that Seattle's basketball tradition will live on through the Storm, the only major Seattle team other than the Sonics to have won a championship.

But oh, it is so bittersweet.

Geograph-agita

I have geograph-agita. Which is to say, I'm stressed over geography.

This isn't exactly new to me. J-P and I have wrestled with questions of geography since almost the day we met, which was about a month before I moved out of New York and embarked on a long distance relationship with this Cute Blond Vegetarian Boy From Idaho. We spent nearly a year getting to know each other from afar. At first, he was in Chile, and I was in Belize, and we emailed about sunrises and deserts, scuba diving and mountain climbing. Those were some good days. Then he was in Florida, and I was in D.C., and we emailed about hurricanes and trailer parks, and law firms and billable hours. Those were some bad days. Then, for a long while, he was in New York, and I was still in D.C., and we emailed more and more, and visited as often as we could, and grew increasingly dissatisfied with this whole long-distance arrangement. And so I moved back, and the rest is history. (And of course, now he's in New York and I'm in Nashville and we email about how much this sucks and how we thought we were done with this phase of our lives, but that's not my point here and I'm sure you're plenty tired of hearing me whine about it.)

I remember as clear as day the first time we ever had the Talk. But this was no ordinary Talk. Usually, when people have the Talk, they figure out what they're doing together and where the relationship is going. For us, there was no need for the Talk, because our relationship was serious from the get-go, or else, why would we bother with the distance? No, our version of the Talk was all about geography. Here was this quintessential East Coast girl who had lived in or near three major East Coast cities by the time she was 22, and didn't have any intention of ever leaving. And then there was this ultimate Northwest boy who may have left the Northwest, but had every intention of going back, as it was clearly where his heart (and his family) were.

So, you see, we were at something of an impasse. And naturally, at some point, the question arose as to whether this impasse was a deal-breaker, or whether we'd choose to weather it together. And, like I said, clear as day I remember having that conversation. We were in Seattle, which was something of a homecoming for J-P, and something entirely new for me. It was also our first real trip together, and we'd already experienced -- and survived together -- some major travel headaches ranging from delayed flights to lost luggage to being completely rained out of our ski trip.

It was the tail end of the trip, and we were on a bus downtown to do some sightseeing. I don't know how the question of geography came up, but it did. And once it came up, it was a conversation that asserted itself like a demanding knock at the door that wouldn't go away until we'd opened the door and dealt with it head on. And so we stood there, in each other's arms on the platform of Seattle's subterranean bus terminal, as if time had stopped. And we decided, together, right then and there, that geography would not be a deal breaker.

Of course, we didn't figure out the solution to our geography problem right then, but we resolved not to let it come between us. And it didn't, and it hasn't, and it won't. But that doesn't make the process of figuring out where we want to make our lives any easier. There are all the usual competing considerations -- family, job opportunities, cost of living, commuting time, diversity, quality of life, accessibility to cultural events, accessibility to the outdoors, and friends. At some point, we are going to have to strike a balance between all of these considerations and just PICK, dammit.

But it's hard, because no matter what we decide will mean sacrificing something, and I've never been good at sacrifice, and I find the thought of closing certain doors nearly paralyzing. I don't WANT to have to pick. What I want is to have it all, wrapped in a pretty bow with a cherry on top.

Is that too much to ask?

This could keep you busy for a while

It's things like this that make me realize that Jason Kottke is truly god's gift to the internet. He's done rounded-up You Tube videos of a dozen or so of the most memorable and oft-cited events from past Olympic competitions. Enjoy.

A gap in the narrative

How come on Friends, they only ever hang out with the same group of six people, but then they throw a birthday party or a Christmas party, and all of a sudden they're friends with fifty other people?

From the “You’ve Got to be Fucking Kidding Me” Files

It started out as a mundane trip to the movies with a few friends. We wanted to see The Dark Knight while it was still showing in IMAX. And, the price of gas being what it is, of course we carpooled. AT came to get me, then we swung by to pick up AS, and off to the theater we went.

We picked up our Fandango'ed tickets, got seats in the first row of the upper section, and spent the next few hours experiencing the sensory overload that is a comic book movie in IMAX. And Heath Ledger was as great as promised. All was good.

And then, just as we were getting up to leave, AT realized his keys were missing. We frantically searched our seats, the floor, the floor behind our seats, the floor in front of our seats, the cup holders, the trash can, the bathroom, the lobby, the lost and found, the parking lot, everything. No keys. No way into the car. No way home.

I laughed. It seemed sort of funny at the time. That’s always my first inclination in these situations. I see the unfortunate humor in things, especially when there’s no real harm and just a little inconvenience involved. It was sucky, but funny, and I just chalked it up as one of Those Nights. I figured we’d call in a favor to get a lift home from friends and that I’d be asleep in a half hour. No sweat.

And then, I thought to myself, HAHAHAHA I wonder if I have my keys, because wouldn’t it be just HILARIOUS if mine were missing too? So I checked my bag. My big, messy, half-full, black hole of a bag.

“You guys, um. I can’t find my keys either.”

They thought I was kidding. Hell, I thought I was kidding, and that if I dug a little deeper, looked a little longer, my keys would appear from the recesses of my bag like they always do. But I looked and looked, and they were gone with the wind.

So we retraced our steps (again), this time looking for not one but two sets of missing keys.

Nothing.

The next hour was a whirlwind. Got a lift from S&K, made a quick check for my keys at AS’s, borrowed a car, picked up a spare house key from AT’s cleaning lady (who was very agreeable, considering it was getting on toward midnight), grabbed AT’s spare car key, and finally made it back to the theater parking lot so AT could retrieve his car. And I was sure that when we got into his car we would find my keys just chilling on the floor or in the console or something.

But no such luck. They were nowhere to be found. And we never found AT’s missing set either. It is just too weird. Two simultaneously missing sets of keys? Now, I can be thoughtless and forgetful and make dumb little mistakes -- I'm sure we all can -- but this seemed too freakishly coincidental. Could they have been swiped? But how would neither of us have noticed? It wasn’t especially crowded in the theater. And if they were swiped, the swiper for some reason bypassed my wallet, phone, and a camera in favor of a set of keys, and didn't even bother to drive off in AT's lovely little Audi. It just doesn't make any sense.

I keep running through the events, trying to come up with a plausible explanation, but I can't, and I don’t know if I ever will. So I’m getting my locks changed today and soon will be back home and able to drive my car again. But that won't stop me from wondering what kind of sick Bermuda Triangle of Keys we managed to wander into last night.

Tomatoes, East Nashville style

When J-P and I first moved to East Nashville, everyone -- EVERYONE -- asked if we'd been to the Tomato Festival, which happens every year at the beginning of August. But we had missed the festival, arriving just a few weeks too late to join in the festivities. So we've been looking forward to this year's festival ever since, and it didn't disappoint, except for the fact that J-P wasn't able to be here and will have to wait yet another year to have his cherry tomato popped.

Things got started early (really early) with a 5K run. It wasn't too hot, although the route had some killer hills in the last mile. No pictures, however, because I figured that carrying the camera would slow me down. As it was, I managed to knock a full five and a half minutes off my previous 5K time, which felt great. (Although I think that is more an indication of just how bad my previous time was, rather than an indication of how especially good this one was.)

After the run and a quick trip home for breakfast and a shower, I made my way back to Five Points for the rest of the day. Things got started with a bang, as the parade made its way around the neighborhood, with the Tomato King and Queen leading the charge:


TT & T marched in their tomato-colored finest:


TT's shoes were in keeping with the theme, and were so tall that I think she could have successfully defended Yao Ming while wearing them.


Other great costumes included those of Tie-Dye Mary and friends:


Not to mention the Mr. Tomato Heads:


M and Roxy also looked great, taking "Best Tomato" in the Faux Paw Costume Contest:


The competition was pretty stiff, though, and this little bugger took second overall:


But M and Roxy weren't our only champs. After a dramatic reading on the main stage, TT took third in the haiku contest with her muse on East Nashville in August. And M and her sister S commandeered the hula hoops from a couple of kids so they could show off their hula hooping skills and have their own little intra-family competition:


Best of all, the weather was gorgeous. Blue skies, highs in the eighties, not too humid. You couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.

A snapshot

The thing that sucks the most about J-P living in New York is not being able to share the little details of daily life with him. (Okay, so maybe this is just ONE of the things that sucks the most, because I could easily come up with a list of ten things to compete in the Why Long Distance Sucks the Most World Championships. But just humor me.)

Of course we talk on the phone several times a day, but that just doesn't compare to the daily face-to-face interaction we'd become used to. So inevitably, I end up storing all these little life details and then dumping them on J-P in some random disjointed email. Because normally, all of these little things would come out over the course of several hours or even days of conversation. When you put them into a list in an email, it just seems like a bunch of details -- some logistical, some gossipy, but mostly insignificant. But they're not insignificant. They are life, or at least a grainy black-and-white snapshot of life. And since J-P can't be here to share life with me in living color, that snapshot will just have to do.

So, for your viewing pleasure, here's today's snapshot:

sorry if i was sort of cranky this morning. i just feel TIRED. my back is feeling a lot better though. it's still stiff and a little sore, but it doesn't hurt nearly as badly as it did last night. i'm hoping it goes away completely by saturday, because i signed up for the 5k. T and S are also running, and S and R may also run. at bootcamp this morning i didn't do the warm-up run (just walked instead) and took it easy on the exercises, and didn't do a few that would have put a strain on my back. also have been doing a lot of stretches, which helps, and popping ibuprofen.

so, T, M, and H are going to panama city for a beach week next week. it sounds like H is going to break it off with her erstwhile fiance, but that it hasn't happened quite yet.

i haven't heard from S in a few days. i sent her an email and a few texts, and nothing. it's weird. i think i'll give her a call this afternoon if i don't hear from her.

i also recently emailed D, N, and A. (separately.) i have heard back from exactly one of those three. guess which?

S and K get back from baltimore today. i imagine i'll see them over the weekend.

so i'm having that little dinner tomorrow night. but it turns out that the margaret cho show is that night, and V, P, R, and L all have tickets. so i feel kind of bad about the conflict. but i'm still going to have it. it will be me, S, A, A, A, and K. [Ed. note: apparently, I know a lot of As.] i'm going to make burgers, panzanella, sauteed squash, S is bringing corn, and cantaloupe for dessert. very low key. should be good though. between burgers in the freezer and all the csa vegetables, i have pretty much everything i need at home, just need to pick up buns and a bottle or two of wine. i love that the pantry is stocked so that's possible.

A(1) rescheduled his party to next friday, the 15th. right after i get that email, A(2) emails me. he was planning to do his housewarming that night, and it's the last night that he can do it when everyone will still be in town. so he was thinking about asking A(1) to combine forces and move the party to A(2)'s. we'll see what happens.

my sister is thinking about going to macedonia for I and D's wedding at the end of august. she just found a flight for $1400, $400 less than the last time she looked. she's not sure though, she would definitely go if it were $1000. i told her $1400 sounded pretty good for getting to a relatively remote and not-heavily-traveled country.

i emailed mike stewart (the tenn house candidate) to ask his position on abortion. i was intentionally vague in my email as to my position, wanted to see how he responded when he didn't know where i was coming from first. i heard back from his campaign manager, and she said he responds to policy questions by phone, and would give me a call today. haven't heard back yet, but interested to see how it turns out.

R and L were in l.a. last weekend and rented a house in a neighborhood called silver lake. they also did a genetic test on H, and it turns out he's half weimeraner, half boxer. not half lab, like they thought. i was surprised by how fascinating i found this little piece of information. it's like an adopted kid finding his birth parents or something.

the next communal pig-cooking is scheduled for august 17. i'm making those pork carnitas again. N is making pork belly, J is making greens with the hocks. i'm hosting. also, N and M are having a big labor day camp-out / cook-out with a bunch of their libertarian friends from around the country. i know we're busy that weekend, but i think it would be way too much libertarianism for my progressive soul anyway.

do you think we should maybe shop for the dining room table the way we did the sofa (you going to the store in ny, me going to the store here, and making sure our phone batteries are charged), rather than waiting for labor day? i'm getting a little paranoid about getting it delivered by thanksgiving (and definitely by christmas).

A just emailed about going to see dark knight in imax tonight. would really like to, but also need to get a few things done before thursday (like cleaning the bathroom). torn, as always, between socializing and chores.

i think a lost a pound or two in the last week.

But she liked it!

My grandma is a woman of very particular tastes. She says she’s picky. But she takes picky to a whole new level. This is a woman who has subsisted (in good health, I might add) for nearly ninety years on a diet of pasta, pizza, steak, pork chops, and baloney. Nary a vegetable, never a whole grain, and NO WAY NO HOW anything that ever so much as dipped its left pinky toe in a body of water. She turns down (and turns her nose up at) shrimp, mussels, and fish of every stripe, never mind oysters, clams, or lobster.

So imagine my surprise to hear that she had tried a piece of fried calamari last weekend. What, I wondered, possessed her to branch out now?

Maybe she was inspired by the fact that, when we were at the beach last month, the rest of us had eaten (and clearly enjoyed) every fish species native to the Eastern seaboard. Or maybe all of our cajoling had finally worked. I know she will sometimes try new things if V and I bug her enough -- we did, after all, get her to join us in a round of tequila shots when I was home from college one year, and there was this time with the vodka luge -- and maybe all of our pestering finally took root, and she was turning a new leaf. How exciting!

But no such luck. Turns out, she just thought it was an onion ring.