Winter 2008

The Sawtooth Mountains, as seen from the top of Lookout Mountain near Stanley, Idaho. Taken in August 2005.

At least I don't hog the covers

A diary of my sleeping habits while J-P was away:

Day 1: My side of the bed.

Day 2: Middle of the bed.

Day 3: Diagonally across the bed.

Day 4: Horizontally across the bed.

It's a good thing he wasn't gone any longer, otherwise he might have come home to find the bed surrounded by a chain link fence topped with razor wire.

What a gem!

So I missed this story last week until a friend pointed it out to me, but an Idaho politician has legally changed his name -- his entire name -- to "Pro-Life" because the state wouldn't let him run for office using his old name, "Marvin Pro-Life Richardson." He's running for Larry Craig's Senate seat, and he plans to run for office every election cycle to keep his "name" in the news.

Now, I love me some Idaho and I love me some Idahoans, but boy do they grow some crazy-ass politicians out there. I really thought it would be hard for Idaho to do worse than Larry Craig, but this guy just may prove me wrong.

Goodnight, sweet cat

Shadow, from day one, you fit right in to our little family. You were hardly the sweetest cat, no, you were about as bitchy as they come, but I mean that as a compliment. You were friendly when you felt like it and snippy the rest of the time. But, true to your name, you were always around no matter your mood, underfoot, spread across the Sunday paper, curled up in the warm part of the couch that you stole in the 30 seconds I was in the bathroom, sitting in the one sliver of sun on the kitchen floor, baking yourself like a pig on a spit in front of the fireplace.

You had a great eighteen-year run, and you will be missed.

Bad Friday

Why my day sucked, in no particular order:

1. Shadow, the cat that my family has had since I was 12, has vastly deteriorated in the last two weeks due to a fast-moving stomach cancer, and has an appointment with eternity tomorrow morning.

2. Drama: What time to go to lunch? Where? With whom? It sounds so simple, and yet sometimes, somehow, it’s not.

3. More drama: When executive decision-makers get a little too executionary in their decision-making.

4. Vacationing without your spouse: FUN FOR NO ONE!!!

5. Tomorrow, I get to fly on an airplane. For a sense of how I feel about this, go ask Alice.

6. One of my final four teams is already out. Goddamn UConn.

7. And, just to kick me when I’m down, the IT department at work has blocked everyone's access to Gmail and Blogger.

All in all, it's been one of those days that makes me wish I'd never gotten out of bed. Or think that I should just go back to bed and bury my head in a pillow and have a good cry. Now it's possible that none of this, save for #1, is that bad, and that #1 is casting a pall over everything else and making #s 2-7 seem like major slit-your-wrist events when really they're not so bad. Or maybe it's just a bit of the ol' whacked-out brain chemistry. But whatever, it all just sucks.

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

I bet you can guess what I'm going to be doing for the next few hours two days four days two weeks month. (Yeah, there is a reason it's called March Madness.)

If you're like me and get a little overeager to anticipate a game's winner well before the final buzzer, you'll find this nifty little tool handy. It's an algorithm to help you determine when a team's lead in a basketball game is safe (i.e., when there is an infinitesimally small chance that the team in the lead could possibly lose, given the size of the lead and the amount of time left.) There's a lot of math behind it, which you might (or might not) find interesting, but most importantly, if you click here and then scroll down halfway, there's a calculator that will do the math for you.

I think there's a 62% chance that I just may wear that calculator out this afternoon.

What was that about needing a new pastime?

This is fun: figure out what these songs are, based on the alphabetical arrangement of the lyrics of each song. You'll be amazed at which answers just jump off the page screen at you. (And which ones don't.) I only went through the first ten, but it seemed that the more I did, the better I got at homing on the key words that give away the answers.

Also, the list seems to skew heavily toward classic rock, so there's a hint.

I need a new pastime now that Season 4 is over

If you know EXACTLY who this references, then clearly you share one of my obsessions. Want one of your very own? Buy it here (via Clusterflock).

And an ass for the dowry

Not that I'm obsessed with the Jenna Bush wedding or anything, but I just caught this little comment by W regarding the proposal in a CNN article:

"So the guy comes to see me and he says, 'I want to marry your daughter,'" Bush said. Bush said he replied, "Done deal."

Now, I am trying REALLY REALLY hard not to get my panties in a bunch here. And let me just say at the outset that I was brought up knowing that if any man ever asked my dad for my "hand in marriage" (GAG), he would be promptly informed that he was talking to the wrong person. So, obviously, I have feelings on this subject.

But seriously, "Done deal"? For real?!?? Way to make your daughter's wedding sound like a business deal, and your daughter like a chattel in some fancy-pants southern-fried bridal bartering. It's just heartwarming, isn't it?

Resignation in five...four...three...

Oh my god, my head is seriously going to implode. How stupid can you be, GOVERNOR?!? I mean, post-Larry Craig, post-David Vitter, post-Jim McGreevey, post-Bill'n'Monica, DID YOU THINK NO ONE WAS GOING TO FIND OUT?

I am almost beyond words. (Almost.)

A long time ago, a good friend of mine who is a devoted Democrat was shocked to learn that upstanding establishments such as strip clubs and escort services experience a bump in business whenever the political conventions -- of either persuasion -- are in town. Somehow, she believed, the Dems were above that. If only that were the case. But this is just another indication that, clearly, it's not.

So thus ends a career, a marriage, and, in all likelihood, any hope of a Democratic governorship in New York for at least the next decade.

Happy fucking Monday.

UPDATE: So, clearly, the Lieutenant Governor will be sworn in whenever the Spitz finally pulls the plug (supposedly today), so the Dems will hang on to the governorship until 2010. But I still think the negative impact of this affair on Democratic politics in New York will be felt for years to come.

Get 'em while they're free

Once upon a time, in many parts of this country, no one had ever heard of White Castle. Sure, you may have had your sliders or your Krystal burgers or what have you, but unless you lived in a select band of states, you were a stranger to the White Castle.

Now, of course, Harold and Kumar have changed all that, and people who may not ever have had the opportunity to try White Castle at least have a better understanding of the vital social and culinary role that White Castle played in the life of your average New Jersey adolescent.

(By the way, Harold and Kumar cracked me up because I once knew two guys who I swear must have been the inspiration for that movie, right down to Kumar's shaggy hair and Harold's man-purse. But I have to say that I have spent a lot of time all over New Jersey, and? That White Castle that they end up at that is supposedly in Cherry Hill and that gleams like jewel in the midst of a verdant landscape? DOES NOT EXIST. Seriously. Even counting the stashes of hidden weed, there is not so much greenery in all of Cherry Hill, and there certainly is no mountain that you could hang glide off of. SOOO unrealistic.)

But anyway, my point. White Castle. Yes. So. Here's a segue for you: In honor of the fact that we have to turn our clocks ahead (by the way, did you know we have to turn our clocks ahead this weekend? Yup, we do! Spring ahead, people, spring ahead!) White Castle is running a little promotion, and you can get two free White Castle burgers in the hour before the time change. No, like, for reals, there's a press release and everything. All you have to do is drag your ass to a White Castle on Sunday morning between 1 a.m. and 2 a.m. standard time.

We, fortunately, count ourselves among the lucky few who live in one of those rare areas of the country where the White Castle and the Krystal exist side by side in harmony. And even though my late-night experience with Krystal ended poorly, you know I'm willing to suffer a little for free food. So you can bet that at 1 a.m. on Sunday I'll be enjoying a White Castle or two in honor of spring and in honor of every Jersey kid who's ever told their parents that play practice ran late just so they could grab a White Castle before going home.

(Umm, yeah. Play practice. I was a big dork.)

Chatting on Gmail makes me sound like a bad translation

M: i remember thinking X was an ass -- but then he was just funny and not an ass for a while. but now i remember he's an ass again. i will not forget this time.

J: that sounded like a movie quote from some kung fu movie. "i will not forget your betrayal this time, fighting claw."

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

A few days ago, in the Outlook section, the Washington Post published this piece of crapola proclaiming that women are just dimmer than men and should really get over it.

Ahem.

Needless to say, the piece launched a thousand email forwards, and criticism abounded (see here, here, here, and probably a million other places). And now, the editor of the section is backpedaling, claiming that the piece was a joke, that it was meant "tongue in cheek."

A joke? A JOKE?!? Are you KIDDING me? It is not a joke when a hate-mongerer writer dredges up decades-old research that is, at best, questionable in design and interpretation and uses that research and little more than ancient stereotype to malign half the human population.

And the excuse that the piece was a joke is a complete cop-out. It reminds me of bit of a blog I read -- one where I don't really see eye-to-eye with the author, but I read anyway because it makes me good and mad. Well anyway, the author of said blog inevitably responds to criticism (which is not infrequent, mind you) by claiming that readers shouldn't get upset because it was SUPPOSED to be funny. Yah, well, how about this: just because you think it's funny DOESN'T MEAN IT'S FUNNY. And if it's offensive, even if you meant it to be funny, IT'S STILL OFFENSIVE. That's one of the pitfalls of attempts at humor. Sometimes it crosses the line. And sometimes, in the case of the Washington Post, it crosses the line, moons it, sticks a finger in its ear, and gives it a wedgie for good measure.

Ah, car culture

There were twenty people on line for the drive-thru at Starbucks this morning. TWENTY. So obviously I parked and went inside instead of waiting. I was in and out in less than two minutes, and exactly ONE person made it through the drive-thru in that time.

Now, I understand that if you've got kids you might choose to wait at the drive-thru rather than wrangle a kid in and out of the car. And if the weather were bad, I'd completely understand. But it's 70 degrees, sunny, and breezy!

So seriously, why wait? What is the logic here? Anyone have any idea?